Mastering the Mysteries of the Universe through Eggnogulation

eggnogulation, v.

-Self administration of large doses of eggnog thus inducing stuporful bliss.

There is a well guarded secret hidden from the majority of mankind. The rite of eggnogulation. Often chalked up to the good cheer of the season or accounted for by sheer coincidence, eggnogulation is a crucial step to enlightenment and spiritual wellbeing. I have been searching many years for the fabled Golden Recipe. This storied recipe is the holy grail of eggnog fabrication.It is such a powerfull formula that the powers that be only allow it to be unleashed for a short period from November to December and even then with limited stock available. This is to avoid the population from becoming ungovernable as we are all aware that instilling and maintaining misery is a key factor to standard government management practices.Now at this point you may be thinking; “But there are eggnog recipes all over the internet!” While you would be correct, all these recipes are just a smoke screen, like so many false prophets, promising deliverance through eggnogulation on demand, while lacking the true bliss inducing properties of the Golden Recipe. Such disappointment I have endured after anticipating year round revelation through the perfect balance of ingredients and process only to be thwarted in my endeavors by an unreasonable facsimile of the Golden Recipe. True eggnog intake expands the inner state of wellbeing wherin all becomes clear and conquerable within the blissful richness and overtones of comfort and peace. Eggnogulation spices one with tolerance and perspective, allays one’s hunger and grief, instills one with peace and fortitude. There are some who find this too much to encompass and resort to diluting the eggnog with milk thus compromising the transformative process. I therefore strongly recommend full strength fortification as often as the short season allows until a time when the government’s hold crumbles and the Golden Recipe becomes Universal Knowledge to be administered at will year round.

Side note: Complete soul alignment when paired with hot bath.